Alternative Facts: No More Lies!

Ol’ Boy in the White House (I can’t bring myself to call him President) is officially running our country and what’s happened since January 20, 2017?  Let’s see:

  1. Had over 1 million people in attendance at his inauguration, which shows the amount of support and love that he’s received since winning the election.
  2. Beyonce sung at the Inaugural Ball and all of the #Beyhive quickly left the nest to enlist in #RihannaNavy…
  3. Women marched in 600+ cities yesterday in support of Donald Trump’s next four years in leadership.
  4. I just saved a bunch of money by switching my phone service to Verizon!

That’s a lot in a two day span and if you’ve been following any social media, you know how much balderdash all of that actually is. Hell, none of it actually happened especially Donald Trump having over one million people at his inauguration. However, you let his Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, tell it, it was packed and the floor coverings on the National Mall distorted the visuals of the true amount of people in attendance. In his press conference, Spicer noted some tweets and media sources that he felt were making it difficult to ease the transition of power and causing tension for Trump. Spicer made it clear that his team will hold the press accountable for any dishonesty or smearing that the media would try to do which is interesting since much of Spicer’s press conference was filled with lies and inconsistencies. It’s amazing. The icing on the cake? Trump’s Counselor, Kellyanne Conway’s introduction of “alternative facts” on Meet the Press with Chuck Todd. The segment was about 13 minutes long and the entire time, Chuck Todd, was trying to get Conway to answer a very simple question:

Why did the President send out his Press Secretary to litigate a provable falsehood when it comes to a small, petty thing like inaugural crowd size?

Conway provided a less than stellar answer earlier in the segment by discussing Trump’s “accomplishments” and basically said that inaugural numbers aren’t important. Todd continues to ask Conway the rationale for having Spicer discussing crowd numbers out of all things and Conway avoids ever actually answering. Finally, Conway says that Spicer gave “alternative facts” to what the media was putting out in the air.

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It was so hilarious that even Todd had to chuckle and watch as Conway flips her hair because she knew she just messed up. Needless to say, the interview did not finish well and the internets got ahold of this new discovery of “alternative facts”. Even the dictionary is getting in on the fun:

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Folks the game has changed with this new innovation into the English langauge. How many arguments are about to be won in relationships?

“I saw you with that girl, Rayvonnavante!”

Girl, that’s my high school teacher from college, chill out!”

You’re lying. Mf’er I saw you and her kissing!”

“Baby, I just told you the alternative facts. You saw something that probably wasn’t really there or misunderstood.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss said you needed to stay later:

“Micah, you need to stay until 9p tonight even though your shift ends at 5p.”

“Boss, I can’t because I have to take care of my mom.”

–Next Day–

Micah, I thought you couldn’t work last night because you had to take care of your mom, but I saw a post that said you were at a club until 7a this morning.”

“Well, I’m giving you the alternative facts. My mom was sick and I took care of her when I was in the club.”

The game has changed. No longer are you lying, you’re just providing alternative facts. Wow.  America, we have “alternative facts” in our vocabulary now and this is just 2 days into Ol’ Boy in the White House’s legacy.  Wake me up when we’re out of the Twilight Zone.

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One thought on “Alternative Facts: No More Lies!

  1. Good old cognitive dissonance at work. I’m very pleased to see that ‘Ol Boy in the White House’ is a recurring theme on this blog – it makes me laugh harder than I probably should.

    Like

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